S T O R I E S - the search for funny - part wun

- the search for funny -




This is serious.
I am not a funny man. Well, sometimes I am a bit funny. I love a good laugh. It’s my favourite thing. Especially those ones where you’re all seized up, can’t breathe, tears welling up. That’s what this quest is all about – finding a laugh that will just about kill ya.

I’m nearly thirty. Three weeks to go. So I’ve been reflecting on my life lately. I mean you’d think I’ve got it pretty good: A satisfying job as an environmental technician – outdoors, cruisy, only requires my services six months of the year; a cosy house near the beautiful beaches and surf of Yallingup; good health, 20/20 vision, a good dog and no wife or kids. What more could a young man want? Well funny you should ask, because whilst sitting on the porch last week watching the late golden light caress the trees, I realised that something was missing. THE GUTBUSTER. The one where you’ve gotta prop yourself up on a mate or a bench or something. Where is it? I certainly haven’t seen much of it lately….maybe once a month if I’m lucky. So I decided to chase that rogue intangible shot of sheer joy down like a fly-blown lamb requiring the clippers and a dose of Diazanol.

So today I quit my job. They understood. “Once a month!” responded my boss, exasperated. I nodded earnestly and she passed me a stress ball. “I hope, Rowan,” she said, sounding very concerned, “when you return from this quest,” she paused, looking into my eyes, and placing a soft hand on mine, “this ball is no longer with you.”
“Thanks Katrina, I’ll get rid of it as soon as I can.”
She hugged me, we both cried a little, and then I left.
I am gunna find funny.



Monday, SEP 2, 2013

Operation funny find starts in earnest today. On the weekend I told friends and family of my new quest and, after chuckling at the “silliness of it all”, some of them offered up some pretty funny stuff. My favourite of which was a true story about a local guy, Murray Teresi. One sunny Sunday, Murray drove his old Holden ute deep into the forest on the sniff for roos and boar. The car broke down many miles from help. Murray spent hours trying every trick in the manual to get the old girl going again, but to no avail. Wrought with frustration Murray extracted his shotgun from the cab, strode purposefully away from the vehicle, spun around, screamed obscenities at it, then promptly raised his gun and shot it. Four times from four different angles. Then he walked twenty kilometres to the nearest pay phone to call his wife, who could not pick him up because she had left her keys in his car. Murray walked the remaining two kilometres home, where-upon he shot his wife’s car just once in passing then promptly went to bed.
I enjoyed that story, even more so because my friend, Liam, was beside himself with laughter as he told it.

I looked in the supermarket for funny today. Didn’t find much, except for when a young child in the queue loudly asked his mum if she was purchasing ‘the toilet paper that dad asked for? The stuff that’s soft on yer bum.’
‘Ssh, yes, now ssh,’ she responded in hushed tones. She went very red. I grinned but did not laugh.

Stopping at the video store on the way home I collected three funny DVD’s for five bucks: “Crackerjack”, “Shaun of the Dead” and “Independence Day”. I drank coffee and stayed up ‘til two a.m. watching them all. They were all very funny, especially Independence Day. Bill Pullman was amazing.



to be continued...